Goodbye To José Mourinho, Who Gave Us So Many Hilarious Memories

Goodbye To Jos Mourinho, Who Gave Us So Many Hilarious Memories

Goodbye To Jos? Mourinho, Who Gave Us So Many Hilarious Memories

It wasn't long enough, Mourinho. Sure, some could've maybe predicted your third season with Chelsea would go the way of your previous third seasons and end in acrimony and disillusionment, but no one could've foreseen this.

Report: Chelsea Have Fired Jos? MourinhoReport: Chelsea Have Fired Jos? MourinhoReport: Chelsea Have Fired Jos? Mourinho

It actually happened. According to the BBC's Dan Roan, Chelsea have told manager Jos? Mourinho that ...Read more Read more

You gave the club a solid two and a half seasons during this latest stretch, the third-longest stint in your career, and still we have not been sated. Who will pick strange fights with fellow managers, ones that appear to be instigated by the slightest of offenses but in reality refer back to still-held grudges of years past? Who will rant and rave about questionable refereeing decisions, reading grand conspiracies for or against certain clubs into the split-second decisions of the officials? Who will we wait for now with bated breath after matches, be they wins or losses, for the at once arrogant, paranoid, insecure, honest, and always revealing post-game interviews you have made so enjoyable in your career? This season that has been so great has lost more than a little luster without your shining, gleaming, glaring eyes to brighten it.


Let us not forget, though, how much joy you have brought us in these all too short 30 months back in England, Mourinho, and let us give thanks for it.

Thank you, Mourinho, for stealing Willian right from under Tottenham's and Liverpool's noses, and gloating about it in that quiet way of yours, knowing that the facts are so obviously slanted in your favor that all it takes to put your foes into a tizzy is a knowing smirk and some deadpan humor:


Thank you, Mourinho, for always keeping the referees honest and abreast of their shortcomings, even if it meant getting sent off the pitch and watching the remainder of the game in the stands next to some random kid:

Thank you, Mourinho, for advising that Man City manager Manuel "Pellegrino" get a calculator before talking to you about money:

Thank you, Mourinho, for continuing to show your passion and devotion to the club and its fans, like that time you celebrated a late winner scored by Fernando Torres against Manchester City Castle Clash ios game hack by hopping into the crowd to be embraced and kissed by the supporters who still love you to this day:

Thank you, Mourinho, for coming up against a miraculous Liverpool team needing a positive result to keep their dream of shocking England by winning the Premier League alive, then murdering all hope for said dream, and celebrating like you had just won the title yourself:

Thank you, Mourinho, for poking fun at your striker Samuel Eto'o and his questionable age in private comments before an interview in France--

--and later, when asked by the British media if you were embarrassed about the comments, flipping it against them by saying they should be embarrassed by the lack of Ethics in Soccer Journalism on display by the video's leaker:

Thank you, Mourinho, for showing up noted assholes Paul Lambert and Roy Keane by attempting to shake their hands before the final whistle of a Chelsea win over their Aston Villa side--

--and then burning them in typically sarcastic fashion when they complained about it:

Thank you, Mourinho, for never ceasing to innovate the art of referee blasting. You invented the technique of being as coy as possible, listing the specific times of questionable calls, and asking the public to investigate and come to their own conclusions:

Thank you, Mourinho, for not settling on tired excuses like "oh, kids these days" for the deteriorated state of the world, and instead offering a fascinating philosophical treatise on possible explanations for what has gone wrong:

Thank you, Mourinho, for your triumphant and hilarious speech at the Chelsea awards banquet following your impressive EPL title in your second season, where you explained with an allegory why your rivals weren't able to best you that year:

Thank you, Mourinho, for teaching us a lesson about how one should be wary of attaching too much value to meaningless trinkets--which are often so coveted apart from the real, human experiences and accomplishments they were meant to commemorate that sometimes the signifier becomes the signified--by tossing your Community Shield loser's medal into the stands:

Thank you, Mourinho, for always demonstrating so much intensity in matches, like that time you told someone (a ref? a player?) to fuck off:

Goodbye To Jos? Mourinho, Who Gave Us So Many Hilarious Memories

Thank you, Mourinho, for demanding from each and every staff member of yours an acute level of situational awareness and knowledge of the game, even if it meant blowing up on your medical staff:

Thank you, Mourinho, for even in the worst of seasons inspiring your charges to victory in the biggest of matches, like the one against Arsenal earlier this season, and then bucking shots at your long time rival Ars?ne Wenger after the fact to remind him who's really boss:

Thank you, Mourinho, for taking time out of your day to correct the indecorous behavior of the bratty youth of Britain:

Thank you, Mourinho, for proving that the truly self-confident never retreat from the safety of their enormous fortresses of self-regard by doubling down on your belief in yourself in response to potentially identity-shaking failure in post-match pressers like this one:

And this one:

And this one, from what we now know was your final match as Chelsea manager:

We will miss you, Mourinho, for all of these reasons and more. We are sad, certainly, but not despondent, for we know that however long you will be absent from our lives, you are sure to return to us at some point as rejuvenated and cocksure as ever. Until then, we will eagerly await more of the wisdom, humor, and happiness we've been so blessed to receive from you.

Photo via Getty


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Jacqueline Joy

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Dragons World Tips, Battle Strategy and Breeding Guide

Log to your Facebook account to end up being able to make 5 crystals along with unlock further features.

You is likely to be pitted against rival players in on-line matches. The Particular Dragon League enables one to battle lower as well as higher-level players. Prior To fighting creatures inside the arena, select your current team regarding fire-breathing monsters then click on a player profile. Defeating almost all players within Dragon League will make you 3 totally free crystals. Here are several suggestions that will help you win battles inside the League:

Make certain you've upgraded the actual monsters in your team approximately level 4. Monsters younger when compared with which aren't designed for combat. Also, at level 4, nearly all creatures unlock particular skills which could be utilized in the arena. Additionally you use a possiblity to use bonus skills, but they price crystals. With Regard To example, the fire dragon's super attack will cost ten crystals.

Battling enemy monsters is fairly simple. While it's your current turn, simply tap on the skill and view your cute pet monster attack the enemy. while fighting, you are generally able to switch the particular signal from a new monster, however you will lose a turn. Select a new dragon stronger than the enemy creature.

Recruit creatures belonging to various forms of elements (fire, earth, h2o etc.) within your team. Whilst battling, note along the element under the actual enemy dragon's wellness bar and also switch the particular signal from a new dragon having an elemental affinity stronger compared to enemy dragon. When you do not have any, then pick a dragon with the exact same element. but do not really choose a dragon having an elemental affinity weaker compared to enemy creature's elemental affinity. Use this handy reckoner to find out which element will be stronger than the other:

Try producing blackberries in seventy one greenhouses; if you must do that, it'll take only 5 minutes to grow 225 Food. An Individual may also try planting pumpkins in most three, but then it'll consider thirty minutes in order to harvest any total involving 750 Food. Alternatively, you can harvest much more meals in the significant greenhouse as it moyen the 3 little greenhouses into one.

At each third level (when your current dragon is at degree 3, level 6, therefore on), when you're feeding the dragon, anyone is planning to be requested to select a perk. you can become found a choice between a couple of perks, which may be anything coming from elevated breeding speed, to end up being able to extra gold or food, in order to improved obstacle-clearing speed. each dragon has its own unique perk.

Dragons also understand new abilities when they reach level 4 and also beyond. Keep an eye fixed in dragon abilities along with take advantage of them in battles.

Click on the image(s) under and right-click in it, then select "Open Image in New Tab." A Person may then make a printout of the table pertaining to long term reference.

Dragons world offers a delightful set of dragons in which could be developed by combining a couple of dragons with different elemental types. you might need greater than 3 creatures to generate advanced monsters. Pertaining To example, for you to breed a new Predatory Dragon, you will have to combine Fire, Earth and nature monsters.

Dragons Globe is truly a 3D dragon breeding game with excellent animated battles along with myriad adorable fire-breathing creatures ready to be adopted and also nurtured. while gameplay is much like Dragon City, you could find a couple of new features sprinkled here as well as there. A New wonderful add-on will become the perk assortment feature in which asks players to select a unique perk after upgrading their dragon in order to degree 3, level 6 and so on.

The game's ridiculously simple battle system tends to make fighting enemy monsters completely enjoyable. Arena battles against on-line players are randomly chosen, consequently you possess to provide an World wide web connection to battle within the Dragon League. If you would like to end up being able to acquire battles, breed advanced creatures as well as create a lovely park, then comply with these Dragons world suggestions along with strategy guide. A Person will even look pertaining to a handy breeding guide following this hub.

Build a minimal of three tiny greenhouses, and plant mushrooms, blackberries, and also pumpkins inside each and also every greenhouse. This specific will really enable you to feed your current dragons faster. You can easily also obtain a large greenhouse (which unlocks at level 10). Your larger 1 assists anyone plant greater than 1 resource, thus assisting you collect as well as stock much more food for all those cute fire-breathers.

I have divided this breeding guidebook into "Basic" and also "Advanced." Simple monsters may be created by combining a pair of dragons; advanced monsters can be created by combining a lot much more than two creatures.

Clear obstacles such as Ice Blocks and also Magic Stones in order to make three crystals. but you may need to add 3 dragons belonging towards the identical element for you to remove them. With Regard To example, an individual will be needing 3 Fire Dragons to distinct Ice Block (reward: 10,000 gold and also 3 crystals).

Invite pals for you to get a pair of for you to five crystals. the "invite the friend" feature can end up being obtained within the Quest menu in the bottom-left corner in the screen. Total quests in order to make rewards. Fight inside the Dragon League for any sure-shot crystal reward.

Unlock achievements to always be able to collect rewards. The Actual advantages may be inside the type of gold and crystals. Whilst nearly all achievements will earn a single crystal, some achievements just like "Breed any Rock Dragon/Steam Dragon" give you 3 for you to five crystals. In Order To get yourself a full list of achievements, tap about the badge-with-ribbon icon with the the majority of notable left corner with the screen.


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